Roaming through darkness..

Roaming through darkness.. Roaming with pain.. Roaming with nothing to lose nor to gain..

WHY does this happen? Have you been here? Left all alone in the world with your tears……I….

I am 15 and i have no place to go. I have been on the streets for three weeks now,and mother hasn’t Imagebothered to look for me. I ENVY COCAINE! Why does he get to spend the most time with her? Last night as i was walking down an alleyway a man in his mid 20’s grabbed me into his garage and began to rape me in the backseat of his car. I’m bleeding but,since this has happened to me before i know the bleeding will eventually stop. Where will i sleep tonight. I met a prostitute named hope who promised she’d meet me on the corner of 5th and pain blvd but she was a no show. I heard through the grapevine the police had arrested her for soliciting three blocks away from hustle drive so tonight i’ll seek shelter in the park where bullets dance and feans dive.. I haven’t eaten in two days,i think that was thursday since today is saturday. A woman named faith gave me a bag of chips and a corn dog,i love corn dogs i wonder if my father loved them also. I wish my daddy was still alive,but his friend who use to provide him with his favorite drug took his life. “people say we look alike you know”,,Mother said she is glad he’s dead,and that it would best suit me if i’d soon join him!  My baby brothers should be safe tonight since she isn’t dating anyone at the moment “or so i hope”.. Please god. If..I am worthy enough to be heard..If i should die this evening do you think you could give them a message for me? {Let them know that nothing is what it seems,and tell them i’ve prayed for them ever since we’ve parted. I won’t shed anymore tears because mother says tears are surely a sign of weakness. I don’t have much of an appetite as i do for a nice warm comfy bed..Oh well..Such is life.

I have been throwing up for weeks now..Yuck! Must have been something i had down at the ymca. Terry the nurse says that there is a strong possibility i could be pregnant { oh dear i hope not } Mother has many boyfriends,but this last one kept making me do things i was uncomfortable with. He’d always say “be quiet whore and take what i know you want bitch”..He says mother’s body isn’t in her prime anymore and that i am ripe for his cock. I’m kind of glad i left,because i couldn’t tolerate another day being teased at school for my poor attire and bad hairstyles it’s just that mother spends our welfare check on herself so usually we’re left with very little.  Oh well…Such is life!  I’ve chosen not to stay in the park tonight i’ll just hide atop of the korean laundry mat rooftop, over on tarnished street it’s safe up there, i have slept there twice before with no problems other than a little raining. Well now that i’ve thought about it,it doesn’t seem so bad. I know mother truly loves me and i do more than anything want to see her happy..”she always says,you sorry bastards what about me? what about me? my life is fucked up because of you pieces of shit” and she may be right.. So tonight ..  I’ll just ..JUMP!!!!

Goodbye cruel world. Good-Bye

Written By: Savvyn Gavea

09.21.12 Copyright 2012 Ehosaraem Media Haus

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